I have alot going on right now - what else is new? Art exhibits, legal work (never ending), responsibilities and life in general. Deadlines and commitments. But sometimes, you just don't know what is going to come at you - and when you will have an opportunity to make a difference. One of my upcoming art exhibits is entitled, "Visual Voices". Another is titled, "Strong Women." I am both honored and flattered to have been accepted into each show. The opportunity does not end there. It only supports my efforts to have that voice - and to strive to be a strong woman. I'm taking a chance here today by sharing upsetting photos and information. I'm not sure what the result will be - I wish a reporter would pick up my story about all that has transpired within a corrupt legal system , and hope it reaches out to you of my concerns. Weapons should never be in the wrong hands. Especially if the the adult, or even child!, has emotional and anger issues.
Unfortunately, it took the school shooting in Chardon, Ohio, to get me stirred up. Within the last few years, I have been an advocate for gun control - in communications with the Pistol Permit Division of Westchester County, New York; the County Attorney; Michael Ward of the FBI ( a Newark, NJ, FBI representative told me they were too busy with terrorist issues than to deal with illegal weapons or cases of suspected danger regarding guns in the wrong hands), as well as with Albany's State Officials. I have kept all my letters, documentation, and notes regarding all such correspondence. My point of major concern : easy access to guns of choice. Adults as well as children are able to get their hands on weapons - with dire consequences. Stating a history of domestic violence, as evidenced by my ex's court admissions and my own medical records, I have found that even with such a history - perpetrators of abuse are able to obtain weapons. Unable to successfully get an investigation started, no one wanted to hear about the Bedford resident who had his gun license revoked in the Bronx, new applications denied in Manhattan...only to be given access again by a Westchester County judge.
Today, I was emotionally shaken to the point of expressing and sharing the absurdityof my exposure to guns - the Levine family could not live without their weapons. Within this entry, I am posting photos that are displayed to the public. Graphic in nature, I found them on a Facebook page and will explain further. A family where owning a gun is as "normal" as owning a pair of sunglasses, within the nucleus of my ex husband's family ( parents and two sisters' families), weapons were common.
How many of you have held a gun in your hands? How many of you have felt that cold metal against your skin, the weight of the weapon a surprise to your senses? I have been on both ends of a gun. I first lifted one as I moved it out of the way, my ex had just held it to my head....many, many years ago. Since the day I got involved with Robert Levine in 1978, it was me - him - and a gun. Wherever we went. He learned that from his own father. They never went anywhere without "protection." I never asked, "Protection from what?"
My sons grew up with guns in our home. First in an apartment, then houses. There were so many fights between me and Bob about the danger of guns in the house. But both my boys saw the weapons and now, as young adults, I assume they have followed in their father's footsteps regarding that, too. Another trait handed down from a previous generation, and they don't even know how strange it is.
At 17 years old, T. J. Lane, allegedly took a gun into a school and created horror - killing three young students in Ohio. T. J. is not the first young man to do so. How many times have we read of similar tragedies over the last few years? Guns in the wrong hands. And as I read about this shooting rampage that occurred in Ohio, the community mentions their love of hunting?
This is where a moment took me. My sons were young - five and eight years of age - when their grandfather, Donnie Levine, started teaching them to kill innocent animals. Donnie would make a sling shot and have a contest with my boys in his backyard - who could hurt the most amount of squirrels. On Sunday mornings, the father of my sons took them to his parents' house to play this sick game of injuring wildlife. I fought over it - got hit over it - and refused to go. For many years.
Then there were the times when Bob would be driving us as a family, boys in the backseat of the car, and there would be an animal crossing the road - be it a squirrel, chipmunk, bird, whatever....and he would laugh, saying he'd give himself a quarter if he ran over the living creature as he'd steer his car straight into it's scrambling body. My sons saw that. Over and over again.
I remember Bob taking my boys outside in our backyard, to shoot with rifles - at what, I do not know. I endured extreme physical harm every time I objected.
A familiarity with harm, exposure to guns, so...what comes next.
It frightens me.
CNN reported on Tuesday that T. J. Lane took the gun from a family member. I am now going to post some photos that I had found a while ago on the Internet. Robert Levine's nephew - playing with a gun. I take the photos quite seriously - from a family that has no concept of right and wrong, and warped thinking. Guns are too "natural" to them.
The photos were taken from public access on facebook:
The caption that Bob's nephew, a young adult, wrote under this photo states: "I LOVE THAT GUN."
I don't know what kind of effect this will have on anyone reading my blog. All I can think of at this time, is that I wish people would take some of the problems I write about seriously. I was married into a family with a severe lack of proper priorities, lack of proper values, and lack of proper morals. Combine that with a flawed data base of gun familiarity and access....what could happen? And what has transpired!
If T. J. Lane grew up in a different environment, would Russell, Demetrius, and Daniel be alive today?
In writing about my life, I reflect on the world that I once knew. It was a daily existence of violence, control and abuse. I lived with guns in a closet, guns in a night table, guns in the glove compartments of cars...they were always around. You can hand down alot of things from generation to generation. I wish my sons' legacies to be different. I bet they have a gun or two in their own possessions. And I wonder....
Is my older son teaching his own son - how to kill a squirrel?