LOCKED UP - IN BEDFORD - ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (as 3 women are found in Ohio)

I woke up with no intention of writing another blog entry today.  My ex husband created yet another bit of crisis I have to deal with this morning (you know by now that psychopaths never stop)....I have art deadlines...and other aspects of life to deal with.  In the process of re-formatting this blog into book form for a publisher...  well, that was going to be my focus today -it is a priority for me. I am so excited about this - speaking on a book tour, helping others by bringing awareness to domestic violence and all it entails... But life stopped me right in my tracks.

As I listened to the radio, I heard that three women, who were missing for years, were found yesterday - in a lock down situation, in Cleveland, Ohio.  Lock down - locked up.  These women had been kidnapped and had disappeared from their families, from their loved ones.  The radio announcer relaying this "story" asked his audience - who would lock up a woman?  and three?  Who would do such a thing?

To say a "sick" individual would - that would be too easy.  I hate when people say that murderers are "sick", rapists are "sick"...even Hitler has been referred to as being a "sick" individual.  The label I believe is more appropriate - EVIL.  You see, as I lived in a bucolic neighborhood, on Piping Brook Lane in a quaint Westchester town, I knew what it was like to be confined.  Imprisoned for periods of time.  And I had witnesses.  My ex husband would periodically lock me in a bathroom, or in a closet, to control and punish me.  Did anyone driving by my home ever suspect this as they passed our gated property?  I doubt it.  And of course you never know what transpires behind closed doors.

The time that was the worst for me, was toward the end of my residence there - when my ex husband began to engage my sons in this horrific behavior.  In an email my son sent me a few years ago...Jared, then 25, made a comment associated to a prior blog entry where I mentioned my "imprisonment".....

"You were locked in the bathroom cuz the latch was stuck, my father sitting next to me made a joke “should we really let her out” we giggled it was funny at the time"

 

My son is referring to only one of the times I was locked in a bathroom by his father. Jared and Jason were 11 and 13years old when their father began engaging them in awful behaviors.  One particular time, my ex husband had locked me in the master bathroom, with my sons standing with him on the other side.  I remember it like it was yesterday....Robert Levine asked his sons, "How long do you think we should leave her in there?" - and the laughter - then silence.  And darkness.  The circuit breaker was pulled, the door locked somehow from the outside, the phone line cut off , and I was confined to the bathroom for hours.  They had all left me there and gone out together for the evening.  The voices of my sons' laughter as their father was their leader - that I remember.  What I can't remember is what that evening's punishment was for. And my son, Jared, remembers me being locked in, under lock down....but as brainwashing has it - his response to my recall is "the latch was stuck."  That is how his mind is able to tolerate the abuse bestowed upon his mother.  Wonder if he recalls that latch being stuck for the entire 13 years of his childhood....?  And the closet door, and the bedroom door,......

 

Today's news event of Ohio acted as a trigger to my PTSD, post traumatic stress disorder.  And triggers bring back the events of the past - to the present.  To this day, I hate walk in closets (my ex had a way to lock me in those, too).  I don't like being confined at all.

 

During our marriage, our home was centered on a "Smart House" computerized system.  It was way ahead of its time in technology.  Everything in our home could be controlled by a computer screen that was recessed into a wall, password protected by my ex husband (I did not know the passwords). Being a total paranoid/control freak - my ex had cameras and heat sensors placed throughout our estate.  Inside and out!  Several of those sensors were in the master bedroom.  Crossing the 3 different exits of the master suite, when the system was in working mode, an alarm would sound if the heat sensors were crossed.  This alarm system was hooked up directly to my ex husband's beeper - and then cell phone.  It was yet another form of psychological torture as he would make me stay in the bedroom for periods of time - for periods of punishment.  

 

As a battered woman, I listened when my ex husband told me to remain in THAT room and not "cross the line."  I never fought back, I couldn't do that.  That was a lesson I learned early on - for when I fought back, the brutality of his violence escalated.  So when I was told to stay in the room for an entire day with no food - I obeyed.  My sons saw that, too.  Many times my ex husband would tell them to stay away from the wing of my bedroom when I was to remain in there alone - scared and hungry. My sons would be ordered to stay on the other side of the house - or just blatantly be restricted from talking to me, from interacting with me.  Robert Levine wanted to show his sons how in control he was, and show them how worthless I was..... He would take my sons out to dinner and emphasize how I was not included in their "boys' club."  Finally returning home, he would eventually free me from the master suite.  And I would be more timid than I was the day before.  His mind control worked.

 

What type of person locks a woman up , keeps a woman in a lock down?  Please don't say "sick"....that word offers somewhat of an excuse.  I rather prefer what the locksmith told me in 1999 when I called him to the home, after I had me ex husband removed for almost killing me again - the final time he was able to phsycially choke me.

 

The gentleman owned a well recommended lock company in the local area.  I hired him to change the locks on the doors.  And while he was there, at my home, I told him about my dread of doorlocks and confined spaces.  He asked to see the spaces in which my ex husband imprisoned me - basically the master bathroom and my walk in closet.  And doing something I never thought of - he put his hand behind the built in cabinet near the bathroom door.  There was a small opening there.  He slid out a piece of wood that was cut to the exact size of a receding space on the bathroom door.  He showed me how my ex husband was able to slide that into place, making the door totally inoperable from the other side!  Then I showed him my walk in closet - with the trifold doors.....The locksmith  showed  me how my ex husband was not only able to lock the doors in place, but also disconnect the automatic light that went on - so he could leave me in darkness.

 

And to think that my sons' defense to dealing with this all is to think that the locks were always getting stuck! 

 

The part that is hardest for me to deal with of course would be hearing my sons' laughter as their father tortured me.  I also reflect on the fact that my ex husband was able to confine me psychologically - I never crossed those heat sensors of our master bedroom suite without permission.  I listened.  I am ashamed of that.  What kind of woman does that?

 

One who lives in fear.  One who just tries to survive.  With over a million dollars worth of antique cars and motorcycles, diamond jewelry, housekeeping staff (they stayed away when I was confined in the bedroom and were always given time off when the bathroom/closet lockdowns took place), clothes from Prada, Gucci, and high end stylists - I would remain like a trapped mouse for hours on end.  Without so much as a squeek from me.  I knew the drill.  I took it in silence.  In that estate, behind gated walls, in Bedford.

 

Those three women in Ohio are now free.  That's what you all think.  With what has probably transpired during their own entrappments, I doubt they will ever feel free.  They have been traumatized and controlled.  It will take alot of work to get their sanity and health back.  Trust me - I know. 

 

And their captor?  What do we know of him?  All I can say is that there are signs of psychopathy in people  - usually before the violence sets in.  If I had only known that, been taught that, when I was growing up.  If we teach our children well, and warn them of signs - perhaps this world will be safer.  Be alert.  Trust your gut.  I wish someone had given me that confidence - and belief to be secure.  Years prior to my relationship of violence with Robert Levine, the ex husband, I remember things now - that should have served as signs back then.  The way he regarded (DISREGARDED) women, his need for control, his degradation of other people.....

 

Robert Levine was a 20 year when he told me a story.  How he had this "game" he played in highschool with Wayne Yanone and Tad Franzman.  Those are two names I remember.  This game actually included any boy who could take on the challenge - having sex with a young girl, whose name I shall not disclose, and reporting back to him about a distinguishing characteristic she had on one of her breasts!  Who raises their son to do such a thing and treat a girl like this?  A girl as part of a sexual challenge?  The young girl who was this target became an acquaintance of mine...and I shudder every time I think of how Robert Levine made her a victim...before he found me. I have never told her.

 

Which brings me back to the radio announcer - asking his audience, "What kind of man does this - locking women up?" 

 

It can happen anywhere.  Boys of all backgrounds may be taught to disregard the rights of girls, disrespect them and harm them. These boys grow up to be men who disregard the rights of women, disprespect them and harm them.  Abuse does not discriminate.  What happened in Ohio....could be happening next door. Just look at what happened to me.  

 

    

A CHECKLIST FOR JASON & JARED LEVINE (HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY)

I found the checklist below in the Journal of Divorce and Remarriage. It may be read under the title of “Parental Alienation Syndrome: An Analysis of Sixteen Selected Cases”, composed by John Dunne and Marsha Hedrick.  The 14 points in the checklist are based on Dr. Richard Gardner’s findings and criteria for parental alienation syndrome as set forth in his 1987 book.  The late Dr. Richard Gardner worked with me on my own situation as a “targeted parent” for several years prior to his death.  As predicted by the doctor, time was of the essence.  The longer the alienation by my sons’s father continued, the worse it got.

Jason and Jared Levine….if you are reading this – As adults, please, check off the behaviors you found evident from your own pasts - in the checklist.  I pray you come back to me.
I will love you both forever....
nwgp

14 points - please read...and take notice:

 1. Child is preoccupied with depreciation and criticism of the parent that is unjustified and/or exaggerated.

2. Conscious, subconscious, and unconscious factors within the alienating parent contribute to the child's alienation from the other.

3. Denigration of the parent has the quality of a litany, a rehearsed quality. There is phraseology not usually used by the child.

4. Child justifies the alienation with memories of minor altercations experienced in the relationship with the parent which are trivial and which most children would have forgotten. When asked, the children are unable to give more compelling reasons.

5. The alienating parent will concur with the children and support their belief that these reasons justify the alienation.

6. Hatred of the parent is most incense when the alienating parent and the child are in the presence of the alienated parent. However, when the child is alone with the alienated parent, the child may exhibit hatred, neutrality, or expressions of affection.

7. If the child begins to enjoy him/herself with the alienated parent, there may be episodes of "stiffening up" and resuming withdrawal and animosity, as though they have done something wrong. Alternatively, the child may ask the alienated parent not to reveal his/her affection to the other parent.

8. The degree of animosity in the child's behavior and verbalizations may vary with the degree of proximity to the alienating parent.

9. Hatred of the parent often extends to include the alienated parent's extended family, with even less justification by the child.

10. The alienating parent is generally unconcerned with the psychological effects on the child of the rejection of parent and extended family.

11. The child's hatred of the alienated parent is often impervious to evidence which contradicts his/her position.

12. The child's position seemingly lacks ambivalence. The alienated parent is "all bad," the alienating parent is "all good."

13. The child is apt to exhibit a guiltless disregard for the feelings of the alienated parent.

14. The child fears the loss of the love of the alienating parent.  

....and this is not the end.

Bulllying...and the "S" Word (Suicide)

I have just spent the last hour reviewing some old blog entries, thinking I had already shared a very serious subject with you - the "s" word.  Suicide.  I had touched upon it at times with my words, but never really explained it with my heart.  And I just survived my 10 year anniversary!  My anniversary of life!  It was ten years ago that for a matter of seconds, I was dead.

So here goes:

I will begin by telling you that what I did was wrong.  Wrong for me, wrong for the world, and wrong in the eyes of God.  Shame is an awful thing to carry around with you.  I carry this and all I can do with it is try to help others by owning up to it.  And telling you that BULLIES need to be stopped.  In doing so, I believe the suicide rate would plummet downward.  I almost lost my life - to bullying.

In 2003, 4 years after filing for divorce from my ex husband, Robert Levine, I had just completed a "fault" trial that took months.  Months of testimony, expert witnesses, and court manipulation.  My ex husband, who had once dared me to file for divorce after beating me senseless, was surprised that I would actually pursue it.  And he contested the divorce (part of his craziness!).  Since this divorce procedure took place in New York, I had to relay my 20 year history of domestic violence to the court for fault and I was fully equipped to do so  - with medical records and more.  However, I was not equipped to deal with my ex husband's connections in the legal system and financial access.  Robert Levine was able to drag this ordeal out as long as he could...while threatening me in every way possible.

At one point during the fault trial, Mr. Levine stood and showed the Judge how he would hit me with his hand.  At another point in the trial, Michael S. Banks (an attorney representing Mr. Levine) would declare that when Mr. Levine brutally raped me, I deserved it - blaming what I wore, and a bikini wax!  Yes, I have all this in my court transcripts.....

To say this trial was traumatizing is to put it mildly. 

And Robert Levine brought my two sons in to testify - against me.

That was painful beyond words....how I heard the boys I raised lie...lie after lie.  They could not look me in the eyes, as they were not permitted to talk to me nor communicate with me in any way.  Their father had already forbidden that.

When I filed for divorce, Robert Levine said I would never see my children again.  So, since that filing date in 1999....and throughout the years to follow, Mr. Levine brainwashed my sons against me.  I soon learned the strategy had a name.  Parental alienation - a form of child abuse.

And it wore me down.  My children were my life.  Robert Levine intended to extinguish that.  After yet another court appearance, my hope was wearing thin.  My hope for ever reuniting with my sons....was losing ground.  I didn't know what to do. I was losing faith in everyone and everything. Mr. Levine phoned my cell phone when the court was on break - to scare me. I did have an order of protection against him in place, but I did not notify the police.  Don't ask me why = I was a mess. Robert Levine laughed at me on the phone.  I did not hang up. Like a deer caught in headlights, I listened to him as he told me my sons hated me now.  And that I would never have them in my life again.

So, on that lonely afternoon when court was not in session, I decided I needed to go somewhere to think - alone.  I did not know what to do, nor what I was going to do.  I just packed a small suitcase and wanted to disappear for an evening or two.  I did not want to hear the voices of lawyers, doctors, nor friends.  I just  needed a break.

I packed up some books and a few articles of clothing.  Along with the several medications I was prescribed to get me through court appearances...and seeing the monster, Robert Levine!  Oh, how I got sick when he was in my "space"....it was like I could sense when he was in my air.  I avoided the sight of him, but just could not stand being anywhere in the same vicinity.  It literally made me sick.

I checked into the East Hanover, New Jersey, Ramada Inn.  Under a different name. I checked in under my grandmother''s name - since I could not lie to make up a name -
I cannot lie to save my life (no pun intended), but managed to pull this off!  Parking my car where I thought no one would see it, I did not want to be found.  I wanted alone time.  I was scared...and had to think.

I paid for the room ahead of time - for 2 days in cash. As I entered the room, all I felt was alone.  And numb.  But numb was good.  Until my cell phone rang.  And I answered it.

Robert Levine was on the other end of the phone - screaming.
"You are not going to get one penny out of me!"
"You think you are taking me down?  No one is f#$%king taking me down!"
"You are NEVER going to see your kids again, you piece of sh#t!"
"Divorce? F#$%k you!  You think you're getting a divorce?"

The screaming, I remember the screaming......I did not say a word.  I could hardly breathe.  What did I do?  I took a pill.  Perhaps two. Unpacking a few things, I tried to read my book.  But I could not. I decided to do something else. I started writing a letter to my sons on a legal pad I had with taken with me ( I used to journal alot when I wanted to work through difficulties).

My cell phone rang again.

Robert Levine called again - this time to tell me that my sons believed all he told them...all the lies - he told them I did not want them anymore....that I stole from them....that I broke up their family.....

He told my sons I did not love them.
I cried and said I would tell Jason and Jared the truth. 
My ex husband's hostile reply was loud and clear.

Robert Levine:  YOU WILL NEVER HAVE THE CHANCE! YOU WILL END UP DEAD ON
                           THE STREET!

Bullying bullying bullying.

Then my cell phone went dead.

Please understand - all I remember was fear and futility - hopelessness and pain.  I took pills...one after the other, trying to dull that pain.  I wanted it to stop! I wanted
the pain in my heart to stop.   This is when it gets a bit blurry.  I remember being on the cell phone with a former Bedford neighbor.  I was crying.
Then nothing.

I'm told the police and fire department had to ax the door down to get to me. 
Although the desk clerk had the room key, I had bolted it from within.  When they found me, I was unconscious.  My old neighbor in Bedford, New York, contacted my close friend who was also my Rabbi in Armonk, New York.  They had my cell phone traced and located me....in the Ramada Inn...but no one knew the name I had checked in under.  They had gone from room to room....to find me. The ambulance transported me to Morristown Memorial Hospital.

No, I don't remember any of that.  I remember my ex husband bullying me.  The
voice of my old Bedford neighbor on the phone....then nothing until this:


A light.  It wasn't white, it wasn't yellow, but it was brilliant !  And I remember reaching toward that light - not with my arms, but with my spirit.  I remember begging, "Please, please take me."  I was not within a body, but was a mere presence.  After begging toward this "power" I felt associated with the light before me, I felt an answer.  "He" told me:

"No.   You must go back.  You are not done yet. Go back."

I opened my eyes to more tubes and beeping machines than I had ever seen before!  
And I thought to myself - sh*t, this is what heaven looks like? There was something in my throat, something over my nose, and a woman in a hair cap leaned over my face.
"Honey, we lost you there for a bit.  Glad you're back," she said.

She called the doctors and nurses who gathered around me.
I screwed up, I thought.  The pain in my heart was back.

I learned that my heart actually gave out - they did not know it was from the pain of losing my sons.  The medical staff told me that they knew I had overdosed on drugs to the point of suicide attempt.  I never thought of that "S" word.  Just the pain - all the emotional pain I wanted to end.  Not wishing to end my life.

I remained in intensive care for 2 weeks - with a "sitter". A stranger was assigned to sit in a chair near my bed for my entire stay in that room.  There were 3 different "sitters" as they were assigned to watch me 24/7 - on shifts.  I had no visitors.  I was not allowed to move and remained monitored to machines.  I remember having to eat only a black substance for days, once I was allowed to swallow on my own again.  No phone.  No TV.  I just had my thoughts.  And a severe headache.

The police had found that letter I wrote to my sons in the Ramada room, and considered what I did a true suicide attempt.  I had some liver damage, heart issues, and damage that no one could see - I was broken.  While laying in that hospital bed, I thought about the fear of living versus the fear of dieing.  And I was more afraid to live without my children.  I also remembered that threat Robert Levine would continue to make over and over again - that I would end up dead on the street......

After stabilizing my physical state, I was moved into a wing reserved as a psyche unit of Morristown Hospital.  Lincoln 5.  I spent another 2 weeks undergoing intense group and single psychological therapy on Lincoln 5.  There, I met a cooking celebrity who tried to hang himself, a gorgeous young man who tried to slit his wrists, and a hospital director's mother who had just lost her husband, and wanted to die with him.....I was diagnosed with Battered Women's Syndrome, Severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder...and a danger to myself.

The two weeks on Lincoln 5 felt like a lifetime....I never had a visitor.  No phone.  No TV again.  There was a pay phone.  I called my Armonk Rabbi several times, but he would not visit me.  Here is something I need to share with you.  I understand people who cared about me were mad - furious - over what I did.  And they refused to see me or talk to me afterward.  Some people said it was a cry for help - what I did....It wasn't meant to upset or hurt anyone (other than myself) and I never cried out for help.  I could not see that far ahead at the time!  I was in the moment.  A moment of suffering severe pain and hopelessness.  I had only wished to end it - it!  Not my life.  Does that make sense to you?   I just wanted to stop the pain. I needed the support of friends and family  - but had none.

After leaving Lincoln 5, I found that  my friends had pretty much abandoned me.  Even my psychologist was mad at me!  And I was in such bad shape emotionally that I was referred to the Trauma Institute of Washington - where I then lived under a lock down condition for 28 days!  I slept on a cot, with no phone, no TV, no visitors - nothing.  Nothing but working on myself in a program for victims of violence, rape, tragedy and trauma.  I had the worst experiences they had seen in a long time.

After 28 days, I was referred to an out patient program in Princeton , New Jersey.  Princeton House Behavioral Center.  I went there for 2 years....worked on myself for 2 straight years, traveling from Essex County, New Jersey, 5 days a week...then reduced to 3.  I don't know how I did that for 2 years.  But I did.  And I didn't know many people in New Jersey, as I lived alone in an apartment in South Orange. 

Of course, my exhusband kept me in court throughout this ordeal.  He never stopped torturing me through the court system.  He still does not - as financial orders were not obeyed...and he more powerfully, he keeps my sons from me, now with another generation of alienation in his cult - my grandson Logan Levine.

I apologize for making this entry so long, perhaps boring.  What I wanted to let you know was that bullying can kill.  I am still fighting a bully.  But now I have an army behind me.  I have learned to have a voice - a voice which I have fought for.  And I have the warmth and support of some very special people in my life.  And you, my blog readers....you give me strength each and every time you read about my life and log into this blog.  I appreciate you all so much.

So, when you are kind enough to tell me how strong I am - I appreciate that too - but don't always "hear" it.  It has been a long road for me.  I have dedicated my life in the last 10 years to making God particularly proud of me.  When He said I wasn't "done yet"....boy, did He have that right!

I live my life based on mitzvot.  Every day I am given opportunities to help others - be it my American troops as a Soldiers' Angel, or my advocacy to raise awareness for victim's rights.  I'm not saying "uncle" to what is due me in court either - why should I?  I am not going to be a victim anymore.

I am going to speak out until my very last breath - about the need to end bullying, end domestic violence, end parental alienation.

I hope to live a long life - I pray for it!  I believe there will be a day when my sons come back to me.

And perhaps, even prevent a suicide from happening to someone else. 

I want to make a difference.  And I think I am.

TAKING DOWN MY BLOG ----- NOT! Accepting Abuse is No Longer an Option

Battered Mother's Syndrome.  I should google it.  Is there even such a term or diagnoses?  All I know, is that I have it. I must.  I have let my sons beat away at my heart for years.  Over and over again.

You've heard of Battered Woman's Syndrome?  I was diagnosed with that years ago.  Along with severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  Life has handed me a few labels.  Most of all, though, life gives me choices.

It is with this blog entry that I would like to relay what transpired in my life this week.  More specifically, what transpired in relation to "Until You Say Uncle"....and my younger son, Jared.

Mother's Day is around the bend.  Already inundated with Mother's Day messages in card stores, radio ads and newspaper articles..it is a time of year that I get a bit weak. Meloncholy.  I have never ceased my attempts at communicating with my sons - now 28 and 31 years of age.  And this time of year, that hole they left in my heart seems to open more vulnerably.  

A few days ago, I once again emailed my 28 year old.  As you know, their father attempted to sue me for $10 million!  For this blog!  Robert Levine lost that case.  And I wondered  - does my blog bother my sons?  If I offered to take it down - would they meet me (first)?  I say "first" because I tried that tactic before.  I did take this blog down for a while after they promised to see me.  And no, they did not keep their promise - they tricked me and would not see me after I deleted "Until You Say Uncle", a few years ago.

In a 2009 post from my blog:"

-------------------------

Sept .9, 2009

 

After giving this alot of thought, I have removed my posts from this blog. I did it for no other reason, than I love my sons.
Always have.
Always will.
I don't want to hurt them and sometimes, the truth hurts.

Thank you for reading about my life.
Julie

 -------------------------

 

"Until You Say Uncle" came down.  My son said he would visit with me if it were down. But guess what?  After I took it down, he would not communicate with me.  Blog entries were erased, I had said "Uncle" - again.  Shame on me.  I should have known better.  For when dealing with either of my sons, I realized only too late that their actions, opinions and behaviors were totally influenced by their father in an attempt to destroy me.

 

The message I recieved from Jared a week later, in 2009, via email (please excuse the harsh language):

------------------------------------ 

In a message dated 9/16/2009 10:18:23 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, jlxxxx@aol.com writes:

Leave me the fuck alone

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

-----------------------------------
My reply was a simple one - simple in words, but devastating in emotion.  I was emotionally shattered - and battered.  I was damned no matter what I did.  The blog was a mere excuse my sons had.  It was like a "flavor of the month", something they could pick at their convenience. 

But I didn't stop there.  I waited a while.  And then I put my blog back up.  I had lost the writings of the previous months (which are in a book, bound in hard copy).  The one thing I didn't lose entirely was my voice.  Before long, I was up and at it again - writing my life story, sharing my experiences, and trying to lend support to other victims of similar circumstances.  Writing is the easy part, for I don't have to have an imagination.  I just write what happened to me...what is happening to me.  My severe post traumatic stress allows me to remember so many details of the traumas - physical and emotional, psychological and financial.  The hard part of course was that I could not combat the brainwashing that my ex husband was so very good at, as he was able to change my sweet loving children into personas of hatred - adult children of parental alienation.  My sons hatred was steered directly at me.

I never gave up hope, though.  Throughout all the years, I always left phone messages, sent cards, letters and emails.  And as the years progressed, I would periodically  offer to take down this blog if it would ever help to reunite me with my sons. 

Another attempt that I saved from 2011:

From: jhlstyle@aol.com [mailto:jhlstyle@aol.com]
Sent: Tuesday, September 06, 2011 7:21 PM
To: JLxxxx@aol.com, jrlxxxxx@aol.com
Subject: Re: (no subject)

 

if you don't want me to write my blog, tell me and it's over.  All you have to do is tell me what you want.  cause I never understood it---you didn't talk to me BEFORE the blog?  does that mean if there's no blog, it would be different?

 

Love,

Mom

 

------------------------------------------------------------

 

My sons' reply then - THAT THEY DID NOT CARE.  Jared went so far as to write that he didn't even read the blog - and that no one else did either!

 

Life went on.  My life continued without my sons in it. 

 

And this week I asked again.  I asked my younger son to meet me for a cup of coffee - for Mother's Day.  I got no reply.  I tried again.  Nothing.

Then he sent me a reply with a demand to take down, "Until You Say Uncle."  And I told him I would - if he would meet me FIRST.  A face to face - FIRST.  Remember, we had been through this before - and his word meant nothing.  At 28 years of age now, I don't believe the value of his "word" has changed in its worth!

 

My son refused.  He refuses to see me or to speak to me.  And in a final email - told me that the blog affects his life.  Relaying that it causes him emotional pain, he demanded I take it down.  With no chance of seeing him again.

Jared went from telling me he did not care about the blog, to telling me it bothered him.  Only after his father lost the $10 million lawsuit regarding "Until You Say Uncle."  Coincidence?  No.  It never is with psychopaths.  My ex husband is a diagnosed psychopath and sociopath with anti social personality disorder.  Each and every move  he makes is plotted and calcuated to the most minute detail.  Especially when it comes to using his sons to hide behind.  And of playing me as a battered mother again.

How do I appear to you, readers, friends, and family?  What kind of mother would NOT take down a blog that exposes a life of domestic violence, atrocities committed by an ex husband and abusive behaviors of alienated sons? 

THIS IS WHAT KIND OF MOTHER:

The kind of mother who sacrificed her best years for a full time devotion to her children's childhoods.  They were my world. Even when life with their father was hell.

The kind of mother who learned to take a punch - so her sons would never have to.

The kind of mother who scrimped and saved for things her children wanted - when their multi millionaire father would not find an ounce of generosity in his hardened heart.

The kind of mother who played basketball, soccer ( I was even an assistant coach), softball and all video games...when their father could never be bothered with them.

The kind of mother who stayed with an abuser, so her children had a roof over their heads, food on their table, and a warm bed to sleep in.

With confidence, I was the best mother I could be.

And it is because of the confidence I maintain as A MOTHER, that I am able to share the last week with you - a week of deep thought and prayer.  Oh, I did pray!  For God's guidance and peace in my heart.

Which I have found.

I never wish to hurt my sons.  If they read something that disturbs them, they are adult enough to have the capacity to stand as men and confront me.  Yes, face to face.  But remember, I was told they don't read my blog.  As far as their own actions which I disclose on my blog, they are accountable for their behaviors.  Now and forever. 

So, it is with my sincerest emotions that I tell you - my blog remains up.  Perhaps, one day, someone will google my sons and read this, realizing the cult atmosphere of parental alienation that exists.  Perhaps, one day, someone will love  them enough to try to "deprogram" my boys.  You never know who this will reach. 

We all have choices to make.  God gave us free will.  I have to look at myself in the mirror; put my head on the pillow at night.  I must live with my decisions and choices.  One choice that is not negotiable :

I do not want to be a battered mother anymore.
My blog stays up.



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BRONX? The Mob, Murder, and Life With Robert Levine

The words you are about to read...are difficult.  As difficult as they are to read, or to hear....it was worse to live them.  I hope to not offend anyone, as I am merely writing from my own experiences.  Some adult content is contained below.

What does it take to write a “thriller”?  You know, those kinds of novels with various sorts of mayhem, a bad protagonist, a good one…..and lots of crime drama?  I don’t know if my blog would ever be categorized as such, but it displays a journey.  One of good.  And one of evil.  With a lot of criminal acts dispersed throughout.  There were even mobsters, murders, rapes, and political corruptions.  I just haven’t written all that yet.  I’ve decided to disclose it all beginning now - on here.  More than I have disclosed in prior entries.  For the FBI and other officials already were informed.  A thriller  - has suspense.  And now, in life, I can’t wait to see the outcome of times changing.

In the last week, if you have listened to or read of the current New York news….many politicians are being charged with various sorts of criminal corruption.  And as I read the list of Bronx men, I checked off a few names to memory – Savino, Bruno, Spano….some were caught in conspiracies, and some are just being charged.  Good move, America.  There is so much cleaning up to do – especially linked to the Bronx.

I was born in the Bronx.  In Westchester Square Hospital to be precise.  I lived on Pelham Parkway until I was 2 years old.  Many of my relatives lived there, too.  My grandfather owned many of the buildings way back when…..It’s not that I have anything against the community (and you can’t get a better Italian bread than on Arthur Avenue), but there are some people connected to the Bronx who are just BAD.  It’s time to tell you about them.

Exposing my personal information is a choice I make.  Only after having disclosed all this to the proper authorities first.  I’m not stupid.  I know this may be dangerous.  But I keep remembering something.  An obligation I have – we all should have.  When we see that something is wrong – we should try to right it.  For it is true, evil succeeds when good men do nothing.  So after disclosing the following facts (and some “hearsay” told to me by my ex husband Robert Levine), I do feel a bit of protection.  I have worked with FBI special agents from the New York Field Offices ( Special Agent Caroline Gilmore, Special Agent Michael A. Mazzuca), Assistant District Attorney Brian Conway, Assistant District Attorney Barbara Eggenhauser, Former District Attorney Jeanine Pirro, her assistant Clem Patty, our New York State Attorney General’s office, Governor Mario Cuomo’s assistant Mary Kavaney….and more.  Do they have my back?  I hope so.  And I’ve been told to be patient – their investigations take time.  When they charge people, they want to make sure it “sticks.”  With the confidence I have in my local police force, I will now share with you what legal officials have already been told.  It’s all about connections.

And I remember the time when some guy, saying his name was "Bruno", left a voice message on my answering machine a few years ago.  It was in response to when I had phoned Senator Spano - saying I was going to disclose the corruption.  The message said that I should be quiet.  That "this" could be handled.  Well, it wasn't "handled."  And I'm not going to be quiet anymore.  

Not to take credit for any of this, it is not storytelling in the pure form.  I do not have a very vivid imagination for that.  What I do have are journals, agenda books, phone books, and documentation that I preserved.  Proof of what I write can be clearly exhibited.  For now, I will try to touch briefly on a few things I know.  In the future, with the assistance of reflecting on my documents, I can elaborate on incidents more freely.

The Bronx.  It’s all over the news this week.  My first experiences with the Bronx, aside from being born there, were of a sense of culinary delight.  That was until I became more involved with Robert Levine and his family in the year 1978.

My parents had a boat that was docked at the Castaways Yacht Club in New Rochelle, New York. Not many slips (boat “parking spaces”) from our boat, was the Levine family’s boat.  That is how a twenty year old Robert Levine and I connected in ’78, during my final weeks of college.  I’d come home and go to the boat club.  It was a great facility – pool, restaurant, evening parties on the water – and I loved the water!  Boating was always in my blood.  My family enjoyed that for years.  Socializing at the club, the Levine family introduced us to the Simone family.  Matriarchs Pat and Selma Simone, their two sons Donny (who liked to spell his name differently -  sometimes Doni/Donni) and Joe…and eventually their daughterinlaw, Anna – Joe’s wife.  

Robert Levine’s parents, Eileen and Donald, seemed to be friendly with the Simones, but always talked about them behind their backs.  I was informed early on that Pat was in the Mafia, and Selma was crazy.  Simple as that.  As I became more familiar to the Levines, I heard more and more talk about the Simone family.  Pat owned the Hunts Point Auto Wreckers and some real estate.  Donald once said he was a slum lord.  I still don’t know what that means – but it never sounded good.  Pat bought properties from people in bad times.  Not to be the focus on this part of my blog entry….Robert raped me in July of ’78, and then I felt branded.  Like I couldn’t breathe without him – and he pretty much owned me.  So I spent even more time with the Levines at the boatyard. 

Joe married his girlfriend, Anna, and we went out together as couples. And Robert Levine started scamming and stealing with Joe Simone. A side business was started.  An illegal one.  They were called “chop shops” back then.  The Auto Wreckers would get in a car from an accident or vandalism, use contacts and have people steal parts they needed to put a car back together again for sale and profit.  I am not sure if Joe’s younger brother, Donny,  was involved in that or not.  A lot of unkosher stuff went on with that family of Simones.  Donny was fatally shot while in the office of the Auto Wrecking business.  A bullet to the head.  I was at the wake – and saw how you couldn’t even see the hole in the open casket, his streak of white hair covering his forehead.  It was the first time I saw a dead person.  Robert and his family told me that Pat Simone knew who shot Donny, a gruntled employee that Donny Simone had a dispute with that day.  Donny and the guy had an argument , the guy came back with a gun and one shot to the head was all it took to wipe out a young life.  Police caught the murderer.  They put him in jail.  I remember Eileen Levine talking about Rikers….And one night when we were all having dinner – Eileen Levine announced that Pat Simone  made sure the guy got what he deserved in jail.  I asked Robert what that was about.  I was told that Pat Simone was in the Mafia and put out a hit on the guy who killed his son.  The hit was completed while the murderer was in jail. Pat Simone got revenge. Okay, now that was a bit scary….but I let it go back then.  Just kept quiet, but kept my eyes and ears open. Always. 

For years, Robert’s mother Eileen would make fun of Selma and talk behind her back.  Always referred to as “Crazy Selma”….I learned that the mother of Donny was unable to leave her Mount Vernon home after her son’s death.  How even when purchasing other homes and moving physically, she held on to the old Mount Vernon home in her son’s memory – never touching his things.  My heart went out to her – but Eileen would laugh and say the woman was nuts.

After living together for a while, I married Robert Levine. Joe Simone remained working at the Hunts Point Auto Wreckers after his brother’s murder, not far from where Robert worked in the South Bronx’s Hunts Point Cooperative Market. I listened to all the dealings between Joe Simone and Robert Levine. 

In the evenings, Joe would call our apartment and tell my then husband if he had a car that was worth “flipping”….putting back together from stolen parts and selling on the market.  I have always been a car lover- since I was a kid – cars are my passion.  So I remember some of those cars and conversations.  A yellow Rolls Royce, a black BMW, a yellow Lincoln, a gold Mercedes, a blue Datzun Z 2+2, and more.  We would use some of the cars for a while until they were sold.  Or in one case, the black 7 series BMW with red leather interior…well, when Robert couldn’t sell that fast enough and he needed the money (it was during his cocaine years)….he had the car stolen.  And collected the insurance money.  Insurance scamming was not new – for he did that quite often – through his cohort Lester Resman, and insurance broker.  That’s for another blog entry!

When Robert got the phone calls from the Auto Wreckers, he would get a list of the parts needed to put the cars back together.  Then he would call his guy, literally named, “Hot Stuff”, to go out and steal the parts from other cars in New York City, or wherever he could get them!  This was before the days of serial numbers on parts….so eventually, this business ended when a law was passed about serial numbers being checked related to car parts and repairs.  However, for years, the scheming was profitable, though I never saw the money myself.

Joe and Robert continued to work in their separate locations in the Bronx and talked often.  My husband always reminded me of the Mafia connections Joe had.  Robert was very impressed with them.  And through Joe, we were invited to all sorts of illegal outings.  Every January we went to the illegal super bowl parties in an affluent White Plains restaurant, run by the mob.  You had to pay thousands of dollars to go to it – and I was warned I could not tell anyone about it.  At the end of the lavish dinner they served during the game, a few people walked out with brown paper bags full of money.  Until it got raided.  So I went to that for maybe 6 years.

Working for his father and Uncle Paul, Robert soon ran the food business of P & L Provisions. He later changed that name to Foodirect (and Foodproducts.net)--- doubling its size! He transferred their “3 sets of books” (one was for the government, one was for the office, and one was for him – yes, all different), to a computer system which he developed along with a computer whiz (Robert called him “Magic”, Michael).  Joe Simone was impressed with Robert’s ability to use a computer program for inventories. In 1985, Robert transferred Joe’s business (he was now running the Auto Wreckers), into a computerized business.  Robert spent days going to Joe’s office, meeting him and Pat Simone there.  And I remember the summer day in 1985 when Robert came home from there – pissed as anything!  He was screaming and throwing things around the house – and I just managed to stay out of his way.

He was yelling about what a cheap f*&k Joe Simone was – and Pat Simone.  He didn’t mention the woman who his mother always referred to as “crazy Selma.”  Robert was pissed that with all the time he put into switching Joe’s business over – the only thing they gave him in return was A BUILDING!  And Robert wanted CASH!  I never did get the exact address of that building…it was somewhere in the Mount Vernon/Yonkers area.  And of course, Robert did not disclose it during our divorce proceedings.  I later found out from a witness, that Robert would take his Uzi to collect rent from tenants at this secret building!  

The friendship (or collaboration) between Joe and Robert continued, though.  Robert told me that Joe was turning into a freak.  Robert told me that Joe was listening to this business gurus’ tapes like he was part of a cult or something….and obsessed with this guy.  The name is on the tip of my tongue – I’ll try to remember that later.  But this guy that Joe was obsessed with was a real estate mogul – and gave lectures on how to prosper.  Just remembered the guru's name - TONY ROBBINS! - .....Robert borrowed Joe’s tapes (a collection of Tony Robbin's lectures) one day – and called Joe and the lecturer assholes.  Hah!  Joe Simone now runs Simone Development – super successful (from mob ties, or learning from the lectures – who knows).

But before Joe focused on a real estate empire, which remember his father did have a hand in…..Joe was offered a buy out from an auto parts manufacturer – for Hunts Point Auto Wreckers.  Joe asked Robert to go with him on a business trip to try to explain the computerized inventory programming and possibly help sell the business.

I think it was to Milwaukee…..my then husband and Joe left for a 4 day trip.  This was also in the latter 1980’s.  I had a four day break!  Home alone with my boys.  And when Robert came home, he did not discuss the business dealings so much as the following, which I still find very strange.  He said that he and Joe Simone shared a room.  And they talked a lot.  Robert of course repeated much of their conversation to me.

Joe was very impressed by the size of Robert’s testicles.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Robert said Joe asked to compare their “members”…..genitals.  And Robert was so proud that Joe told him he had never seen a guy with such huge balls before, literally.  My ex husband’s balls were large…but I think that is because his “member” was small, making them appear bigger than they really were.

Anyway, for days…all I heard from Robert was about Joe Simone’s vanity.  Joe got hair weaves/plugs, plastic surgery, etc.  Joe used to be very fat and was obsessed with his newer slimmed down body image – all to the point of making his wife Anna cry because her own weight tended to be on the high side. Joe would offer his wife bribes to loose weight, and I didn’t need to hear about it.  Robert repeated this all to me.  I learned that my then husband was incapable of having a friendship with anyone.  There are some things you don’t repeat to anyone.  Guess he learned that from his parents, who always spoke poorly of their friends Pat and Selma. 

Well, that was just weird.  And every time since, whenever I would see Joe…..I would know that he was not well endowed (according to Robert), that he had hair plugs, plastic surgery, was a total narcissist about his own weight and tortured his wife over food issues.  But still, they remained in our lives.  And someone else wrote about the Simone's mob ties before I did!  read this: 
http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/real-estate/developers-mob-ties-paid-5-5m-east-bronx-land-sold-city-46m-article-1.387439

We attended parties that they gave.  I sat with Mario Biaggi a few times, along with his son.  And many other shady characters.  Robert told me I wasn’t friendly enough to Anna, that she didn’t like how removed I seemed.  And that is how I remained after learning what I did in 1994 at my son, Jason’s, Bar Mitzvah.

I had gotten my real estate sales person license and was working part time in the office of Armonk Properties….Oh,there are stories there, too.  Like the time when Joe Simone sent his buddy Castellano (yes, the Mafia guy) with a body guard to look at some properties in the Armonk Bedford area! Oy! He ended up buying an estate in Brookville on Long Island.  Thank God.

When it came time to invite my friends to Jason’s Bar Mitzvah, of course I invited my boss at the real estate office, along with some co-workers (Robert did not check the guest list back then).  The owner of Armonk Properties was Maggie Ehrlich.  I invited her and her husband, Bernie, as our guests.

When I first met Maggie, I was told that her husband was “away.”  I didn’t learn all the details until the day of Jason’s Bar Mitzvah in December of 1994. 

It was a whirlwind of a time in my life.  Robert had just plead guilty to FDA charges of selling adulterated meats and some other felony violations.  He did not allow me to go to court with him in Washington, or New York.  I was prepared for him to spend a minimum of 2 years away in jail, he had requested a location in Virginia….but at the last minute – October of 1994, Robert’s father was able to pull some strings with the Mafia ties in the food business and Robert got off from the jail sentence – to only a 2 year period of probation.  During that time, I listened to more phonecalls, registered more names to memory – Senator Nick Spano among them, with the help of Carmine Pellegrino.  Even Mario Biaggi came up again……but Robert would say he had troubles of his own to deal with. 

So we moved forward with the Bar Mitzvah, with Robert free on probation – but guilty! Of several crimes.  And in attendance at Jason’s Bar Mitzvah, was a sit down ready to happen!  A sit down was the term Robert used when the Mafia people he knew wanted to hold a meeting…..Silly me – didn’t put things together until the day of Jason’s reception.

I had Carmine Pellegrino seated near Pat and Selma Simone, who were seated near Joe and Anna Simone, who were seated near my boss Maggie Ehrilich and her husband Bernie (who had just “gotten home” from wherever he was.)

As soon as everyone saw each other – I was dragged outside by Maggie.  She was literally white as a sheet and gripping my dress.  “Do you know who those people are?,” she cried.  I told her that of course I did….and then she told me the story about how her life was destroyed by Pat and Joe Simone.  

Do you remember ever hearing about the scandal Wedtech? * Please refer to my note below for a full description of this scandal. Well, here was my son’s reception for a Bar Mitzvah, and after being beaten periodically throughout the abuse I took from Robert – I also had to contend with this kind of fiasco – the mob, murder, crime – I couldn’t make this up if I tried.  Wedtech involved Pat Simone…..using Bernard Ehrlich, an attorney, as a scapegoat.  Pat had told Bernie to take the fall for the crime – or his family would “pay” for it.  Terrified, Bernie went to jail for years – and never ratted on the real guilty party – PATRICK SIMONE.  Bernie was a broken man.  And Pat was MAFIA.  All this came out on December 10, 1994, as EJM entertained 80 children and 150 adults…at the Mamaroneck Yacht Club extravaganza.  What did I do?

I went into the ladies’ room and  cried.  I handled it for my son’s sake.  I was used to getting hit during my marriage by Robert Levine.  If I upset his “family” or “friends/Simones”….I knew there would be hell to pay.  Maggie and Bernie stayed for a short time, then left the party very early.  And I truly believed now that I was involved with the mob.

Those times I attended talks behind a butcher shop, the dinners I went to when the men went outside alone….sit downs.  I went to them at different locations – and know which places are owned by the Mafia.  The Surf Club in New Rochelle had the best food among them.  Senator Nick Spano would probably agree.   He sat with me at an affair once (a mob member’s grandchild got married)….and I made the mistake of thanking the then senator for all the favors he did for Robert (he got IRS to give Robert a huge check, got my ex’s criminal charges erased, etc.).  Boy, did Nick give me a look that could kill, and he literally did that move like cutting his throat with his hand – a message for me to shut up.  So I continued to sit there all night and talk with his newscaster sister in law.  Nick was too spooky.

Feels kind of like I’m writing a book – and perhaps this blog entry is too long?  I’ll have to save more for another day – like the insurance fraud, counterfeit money scheme, etc. The money laundering that Robert Levine did is still probably a daily occurrence.  He cashes people’s checks for a percentage of the sum involved.  And he was always proud of how he could screw people.

Never scared or fearful, Robert even told me how he saw someone shot only feet in front of him as he was walking in front of the “dock” at the Hunts Point Market place of work.  Robert is never worried…he has too many connections and told me that he paid for protection.  Cocky as always, he said he paid another provision company in the Bronx market to watch over him.  Robert also helped this other provision company change their business over to that computer program design – and took it as assurance for his protection.  Mr. Levine told me often...how he despised the owner of this other provision company . But between paying them every week and taking care of the company's inventory programming, Robert said he had the assurance of safety. Personally, I think Robert Levine talked too much.

 

When I filed for divorce the last time (remember it was the third time I tried to escape the brutal domestic violence), Robert said he was going to use the Simone connections to kill me in court.  He also said he would do anything he had to so I would never see my sons again.  He kept his word about both.  A few months ago, I called Joe Simone at his place of work….now Simone Development.  He is a huge bigshot in the real estate market – and has many connections as he supports the New York economy.  I begged him to lay off of me….to stop helping my now ex husband (my divorce was granted on cruel and inhuman treatment…divorced since 2005). Joe was Joe – it was all about him and he couldn’t be bothered listening to my situation.  He forgot where he came from – and how long we knew each other.  I realize now that he is as much a narcissist as Robert Levine is – and who knows what he does to his own wife in private.

I tried begging for these people to leave me be.  For a little peace.  But you know what they say ….married to the mob….. 

I will write about the murder of Carmine Pellegrino another time….and how that is all connected, too.  
A reader just sent me this link: http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/real-estate/developers-mob-ties-paid-5-5m-east-bronx-land-sold-city-46m-article-1.387439#commentpostform  

 (I want to send a special thanks to our local Police Department for helping me to feel safe enough to write this.)

*from wikepedia: 

“The Wedtech Scandal was the name of an American political scandal that came to light in the late 1980s involving the Wedtech Corporation.

 

The company had been founded in Bronx County, New York by a Puerto Rican named John Mariotta, and originally manufactured baby carriages. But after a number of years, Mariotta brought in a partner, Fred Neuberger, and began focusing on contracts for the Department of Defense.

 

As a major employer in a depressed part of New York City Wedtech enjoyed a strong local reputation, and was even praised by then U.S. President Ronald Reagan for the jobs it provided for those who might otherwise be forced onto welfare rolls.

 

But Wedtech had won many of its defense contracts under a Small Business Administration program which allowed minority-owned businesses to be awarded no-bid contracts, despite the fact that Fred Neuberger, not a member of any minority, owned a majority of the company's stock, thus disqualifying Wedtech as a minority-owned business. To keep Neuberger's controlling ownership secret, the company committed fraud, forging papers that claimed Mariotta was still the primary owner of the company.

 

When Wedtech went public, it gave shares of stock to law firms (as payment for legal services), including Squadron, Ellenoff, Plesent & Sheinfeld. But many of the law firms employed members of the U.S. House of Representatives, including Bronx Congressmen Mario Biaggi and Robert Garcia, who would later be forced to resign their seats due to their roles in the scandal.[1][2]

 

Another key figure in the scandal was Paul Castellano's first cousin, Maj. General Vito Castellano[3] who occupied key capitol positions in Albany, such as the former commander of the New York National Guard and Governor Cuomo's former chief of staff.[4] Vito Castellano pleaded guilty to state charges of tax evasion in connection with payments from the Wedtech Corporation. Indicted on charges of bribing Mr. Castellano was Bernard C. Ehrlich, whom Castellano had promoted to commanding officer of the 42d Infantry Division of the National Guard.[5]”